one more off key anthem (let your teeth sink in)
by Sorry I Just Did
Summary: Keith sucks at being a vampire and Lance is going to hell. Nothing strange here. or, supernatural boyfriends go shopping and are confounded by The Gayness .


**a/n:** i wrote this at four in the morning and its the trashiest thing i have ever written this is my contribution to the fandom sorry in advance

disclaimer: i own nothing.

* * *

Keith Kogane was a fucking vampire and he wasn't even trying to hide it.

One of the many reasons Keith Kogane was an asshole.

The biggest factor being, of course, his mullet. Okay, Lance could _maybe_ get over his blaring disregard for emotions and any human interaction and general standoffish, douche personality but seriously, who fucking wears a _mullet_ anymore?

Assholes, that's who.

It doesn't matter if said-asshole can somehow make mullets look cool. Tt's like, a giant neon sign screaming _Look at me! I'm a vampire! I haven't aged since the eighties!_ Honestly, the guy isn't even subtle about it. Lance figures his general douche personality is why Keith still dresses like it's the eighties and the fact that he's from the eighties is why he's a douche, but that doesn't excuse Keith for being very obvious about his supernatural identity. Like, Lance has caught Keith staring at a couple necks very bloodlustily a couple of times. He could almost see the fangs popping out for a visit at the rate that Keith was getting all hot and bothered as he stared at some necks. He could _smell_ the thirst emanating from that boy.

"You're sure you're not confusing it with your own scent?" Pidge had asked one day.

Lance scoffed, "Werewolves can't smell themselves. Then we'd always have to tell the difference between our scent and everything else."

Pidge had looked extremely unimpressed, "You were smelling your ass last full moon."

Lance turned beet red, "What? No I wasn't! And what were you doing near me on the full moon anyway? You could've gotten hurt!"

Pidge rolled their eyes, "I'm non-supernatural, not defenseless. I know magic, dumbass."

Now it was Lance's turn to look unimpressed, "You blew up Uncle Jorge's garage last month, which by the way, he still wants money for."

Pidge waved their hand noncommittally, focused on their laptop screen, "He'll get his money. I got a job or two lined up."

Lance did not want to know what cybercrimes Pidge got up to in their free time (they were probably some chaotic neutral hacktivist that could blow up shit from the safety of their home) so he just let it go and moved on from the subject.

Anyway, Lance didn't need to smell Keith to know he was a vampire. The guy was a walking poster boy for unnatural disasters. All dark, broody, handsome, tragically outdated and disproportionately attracted to necks. It was a miracle the town hadn't stormed their high school bearing torches and crosses and holy water screaming prayers to banish the supernatural from their realm.

"Keith Kogane? He's probably just like, kinky, you know?"

It was an honest-to-god miracle.

(Lance hadn't stopped blushing for a week when he remembered _that_ particular comment.)

See, Lance hailed from a respected pack of werewolves, and while their blood wasn't the purest, no one around the town really cared about blood purity and instead focused on the more important stuff like loyalty which the Sanchez pack had in spades. Granted, the Sanchez pack was more than just a wolf pack, they were also a blood pack. Many of the member were related by blood, with a few honorary members. They were family in every way that mattered and they would die to protect each other. And that meant stopping stupid fucking vampires from revealing the existence of the supernatural to the plain natural world. They already had a close call with that Dracula-wannabe from a few years back who probably singlehandedly funded their local Hot Topic and decreased the female virgin population.

Lance has met many vampires in his lifetime and he _knows_ that that virginal bullshit in the stories is just that- gross, patriarchal bullshit and he didn't lose any sleep when 'Dracula' was taken care of.

Anyways, Keith Kogane and his stupid mullet and stupid brooding and stupid eyes and stupid existence. The guy needed a reality check. And Lance obviously had to be the one to give it to him.

"You. Me. Pine Hills Mall. At four," Lance demanded, slamming his hand down onto Keith's desk.

Keith lazily dragged his eyes up towards Lance (and Lance avidly ignored the trail of fire in their wake) and coolly raised a thick eyebrow, cheeks flushed, "What?"

Lance scowled, "You dress like you're from the eighties. Which you probably are but- you scream vampire, dude. It's pathetic. You obviously need some help and I'm obviously going to give it to you."

"Are you now?" Keith drawled, completely disinterested in the fact that Lance knew he was a vampire. Okay, Keith could probably smell the werewolf in him but honestly, the guy could be a little more concerned about protecting his identity. Lance was obviously extending an olive branch here and Keith could be a little more enthusiastic.

Lance leaned forward a bit, face burning, "Yeah, and you're going to show up and we're going to get you clothes from this century and probably get rid of that godforsaken mullet and then I won't have to deal with your incompetency."

Keith continued to look wholly unimpressed, "That's a big word, mutt." Lance wondered if anyone notice Keith turn into a pile of dust in the middle of the room. It was instantaneous anyway, maybe he could say it was a magic trick or something.

"Show up or blow up, assface." And with those graceful parting words and some very expressive blowing up hand motions, Lance stomped back to his seat.

Honestly, stupid Keith Kogane sucked at being a vampire. Lance would have to help him out.

(Their classmates wondered why the boys' faces were so red)

* * *

Lance's face hasn't returned to normal temperature in ten minutes and he's going to _die_. This is probably the worst idea he's ever had but in his defense, how was he supposed to know that fucking Keith Kogane was going to look so damn hot in everything? Not to mention that Lance's blood was getting all hot from arguing with Keith and he didn't know if he wanted to punch Keith in the face with his fist or with his mouth. Probably both.

This was _not_ part of the plan.

The plan was to get Keith to stop looking so dumb and blatantly Vampire; it was _not_ wanting to kiss the guy until one of them broke.

Right now, Keith was in a loose red band shirt tucked into high-waisted, striped shorts and damn, that ass looked fine. Keith was pouting slightly and fidgeting in the shorts but otherwise, looked quite in his zone.

Lance wanted to touchdown in Keith's end zone.

Lance wanted to fling himself off of the moon and suffocate in the endless nothingness of space.

Keith in modern clothes looked really fucking hot and Lance could practically feel an early heat coming on, this was beyond ridiculous. Beyond.

Lance was going to hell.

Maybe Keith would be there, too, what with being, an unholy creature of the supernatural and all.

Lance was going to _burn_.

"I'm trying something else on." Keith marched back into the fitting room before Lance could reply which was probably for the best because Lance could barely form words at this point.

He whipped out his phone and texted Hunk.

 **me:**

 _keith is rly hot?_

 **what a hunk:**

 _Yeah._

 **me:**

 _like ?_

 **what a hunk:**

 _r u surprised?_

 **me:**

 _l_

 **what a hunk:**

 _lance evry1 knew u had the hots for him_

 _u smell like sex when ur near him_

 **me:**

 _but hes a vampire_

 _a stoopid one 2_

 **what a hunk:**

 _so? aunt marie dated a vampire_

 _its 2k16 its not that unusual lance_

 _and keith's not a bad vampire_

 _ur just weirdly obsessed w him_

 **me:**

 _i cant help it he sux at being a vampire_

 _like he screams vampire_

 **what a hunk:**

 _i didnt no he was a vampire until i sat next to him_

 _two years into high school_

 **me:**

 _well my sniffer is superior_

 **what a hunk:**

 _no_

 _ur just stupid about him_

 **me:**

 _y did i text u_

 **what a hunk:**

 _idk y did u_

 **me:**

 _bc im at the mall w kieth_

 _and he looks hot in everything_

 **what a hunk:**

 _sounds like a u problem_

 _wait_

 _y r u at the mall w him?_

 _when did this happen?_

 _r u guys on a date!?_

 **me:**

 _no!_

 _he just needed to not look like marty mcfly_

 **what a hunk:**

 _i cant believe u actually asked him out_

 **me:**

 _i did not!_

 **what a hunk:**

 _did u guys eat a romantic lunch?_

 **me:**

 _we ate big macs and burped in each others faces_

 **what a hunk:**

 _..._

 _romance is dead_

 **me:**

 _it's not romance u poo_

 _oh shit_

 _hes coming back_

Keith emerges from the dressing room in jogger pants and a plain t-shirt and somehow, Lance's mouth still manages to go dry.

"None of this stuff fits. I'm gonna go look for more. You coming?"

Lance nods mutely and follows him back into the aisles. As they peruse the section, Lance's mind is hyperventilating. Or maybe that's just him. Since Keith doesn't look too concerned, he's probably not actually hyperventilating. But that's of little comfort.

This trip has made Lance violently aware of his attraction to Keith and it is A Problem. Look, Lance isn't blind. He knows Keith is hot. But before he could just ignore it in favor of raging about his incompetency as a vampire but ever since they met to go to the mall, Keith hasn't looked very bloodlusty at all.

Keith was very unlusty right now.

Dishearteningly, unlusty.

But that's neither here nor there. More importantly, Keith was actually looking at some cool clothes and had made some cool jokes and Lance had actually laughed at a couple of them and he was actually enjoying Keith's company. Like yeah, the guy was still an asshole but he was a fun asshole and Lance loved getting him fired up. It was almost like Keith was a normal kid.

Who had a mullet.

No really, that mullet had to go.

"Why did you come?" Lance blurts out. Oh great going Lance, really smooth. Way to sound like an asshole.

Keith blinked, "You asked. Did you not want me to come?"

Lance aggressively pushed the clothes hangers aside as he browsed the selection- that was a really nice floral shirt, he might have to come back for it- and told Keith, "Well, _yeah_ but I didn't expect you to _show up_."

Keith puffed his reddening cheeks and added some clothes to his pile, "Not like I had anything better to do."

Lance turned those words over in his head, trying to deduce what they really meant. Did Keith _want_ to spend time with him? Or did he really have nothing better to do? Which answer did Lance want to be true? He sneaked a glance at the vampire and the red cheeks made his head think that maybe stupid Keith Kogane the Vampire maybe did want to spend time with him.

"You still suck at being a vampire, though."

Keith looked over at him, "And what would you know about being a vampire, wolf?"

Lance shrugged, "You stare at necks, avoid garlic and wooden stakes, need to be invited into private dwellings and burn in the sun."

"We don't burn in the sun, what the fuck."

"No sorry, that's just your _fiery_ personality."

"You don't really think we burn in the sun, right?" Lance glances over at Keith and he kind of wants to die laughing because Keith looks so horrified right now, like someone told him that Nirvana was actually a made by The Man.

Lance smirks "Duh."

He pauses and holds up a sparkly yellow crop top. "They obviously glitter in the sunlight."

" _Lance._ "

"No seriously though, you're always brooding and staring at necks and it's creepy, dude."

Keith looks at him, genuinely confused, "I don't stare at necks? That's weird? And what about this one?"

Lance scoffs, "You stare at like, at least, three a day." He considers the rather benign black crop top, "Yeah, that'd be cool."

Keith raises an eyebrow, "You sure about that?"

"I mean, yeah. You were like, locked in on Nyma's jugular in calc today."

"She got a tattoo there, asshole. The whole school knows that." Oh. Yeah. Lance forgot about that.

"What about Rolo in physics yesterday?"

"Got attacked by a shark over break. Has a nasty scar on his neck."

"Shut up, he did _not._ "

"It was all over the news, where were you?"

"In Texas, visiting my abuelos, holy shit, that did not actually happen."

"Yeah it did. Look it up."

"Well what about Shay in the cafeteria?"

"Who?"

"Shay? The lit magazine editor? Brunette? Broad?"

"Yeah, I have no idea who that is. The entire senior class has lunch the same period. I could've just been zoning out. I told you, I don't stare at necks but apparently, _you_ stare at _me_ a lot." At this point, Keith has stopped looking through the clothes and is facing Lance full-on now, with a full-blown, shit-eating smirk on his lips.

Lance flushed, "I do not! It's just- I'm a werewolf. I notice when other supernatural beings are being obvious!"

Keith placed his hands on his hips, "Yeah okay, then did you notice that Allura and Coran were eating raw deer meat during lunch yesterday?"

Lance's eyes bugged out, Allura? A supernatural? But she was so sweet and pure, "What? No! Why?"

Keith shrugged, "Wendigoes. Thought you knew, since you're so observant," Keith teased.

"Shut up, Allura and Coran are both so pure. Can you blame me? They're like, textbook precious cinnamon rolls," Lance grumbles.

Keith steps closer and from this proximity, Lance can see his eyes twinkling and fuck, if it ain't making something in his belly twinkle, "Someone spends too much time on tumblr."

Lance pouts and turns back to the clothes racks, his body relaxing at the break from Keith's twinkly eyes (vampires might not glitter but they fucking twinkle), "Takes one to know one, asshole." He tries to sound as biting as he did before but honestly, the insult sounds pathetic even to his own ears.

Keith chuckles and it's a very nice laugh and Lance wants to hear it more and Jesus fuck, what even is this mall trip, this is way too much, "I think I have enough clothes. I'm going to try this stuff on." He leaves and Lance lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

He lets his head fall against the top of the clothes rack, the cool of the metal refreshing against his heated skin. Shit, he thinks he has a crush on stupid Keith Kogane the Vampire. Fuck him.

* * *

He comes out in just a black shirt, red cropped jacket and loose jeans and Lance tries greatly not to lose his chill. Like it's not even that great of an outfit but it somehow works really well and hot damn, he needs help.

"This satisfy you?" Keith asks sarcastically.

 _You have no idea_. "Yeah, I guess it'll do," he squeaks instead. He desperately hopes his face isn't as red as he thinks it is.

Keith looks at him carefully, takes in Lance's tense posture back in the fitting room chair, his red face and high voice. He hopes it means what he thinks it means because honestly, the werewolf had been tempting him for too long. He takes an experimental step closer, "You guess?"

The low drawl of Keith's voice is sending Lance into hyper drive and there are alarms blaring in Lance's mind. Keith is the image of things that Lance should stay away from, looking all confident and dark and beautiful and tempting, but honestly, Lance wants to find out what will happen if he keeps pushing. He idly wonders how his day has come to this but honestly, with Keith looking like he wants to eat him (in a good way), Lance is not going to question it or why he is enjoying it.

"You could do better," Lance replied, eyes dark.

Keith steps even closer, so close he's practically standing in between Lance's legs, and leans down slightly, looming over Lance's view, with his arms planted on either side of Lance, "Yeah? And what's better?"

Lance wants to say he doesn't know what keeps pushing him closer to Keith but honestly, it's probably the wolf in him that has him leaning forward, almost nose to nose with the vampire, practically purring out, "Wearing nothing."

That seems to snap something in the air and then, Keith's in his lap, hands tangled in his hair as his lips wage war on his. Lance surrenders to the sensation lets himself get lost in the feeling of being completely surrounded by Keith Kogane. His arms wrap around the vampire's waist, running up and down his back as he slides his tongue against Keith's. Tongues slide, teeth bite, hands roam and hips shift. Keith and Lance fit together like a puzzle as Keith moves his lips down, trailing kisses down Lance's neck, sucking and biting gently.

Lance barely catches a gasp as it escapes his mouth, "I knew you- ah, had a thing for necks." It's very hard to talk with Keith's mouth plundering his neck so he thinks he should get a gold star for finishing his sentence.

Keith drags his lips back to Lane's, pressing soft but firm (and hot) kisses to them.

"Well, I am a good vampire."

* * *

 **a/n:** what have i done

also my hcs for this world bc i fell in love w it  
1\. shiro and keith are vampires  
2\. pidge likes to blow things up with magic  
3\. lance comes from a big werewolf pack and hunk is an honorary pack member  
4\. allura and coran are reformed wendigoes  
5\. lance loves butts and floral shirts no one can tell me otherwise  
6\. keith wears androgynous clothes fight me  
7\. keith really just thought werewolf lance was cute and didn't know how to approach him ok

reviews are life.


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